A: Yes, because I feel like you hate me, that’s why you want me dead. I sometimes try to remember if I had gotten you super mad the day before so that there could be an eplaination to why you have me die in your dreams. But after seeing that these dreams scared you I started to worry. I started to think differently about them and I felt that I had to tell you that I wasn’t going to die and to comfort you.
Q2: Are you surprised when I first called you and told you about my dreams?
A: No, when you do call I hope you are just calling to see how I am and that you just miss me. I try not to think of the worst, but I can tell by the way you hesitate and the way you sound that you need my help.
Q3: Do you take these dreams seriously?
A: Yes, because I know they are serious and they have a deeper meaning. They are serious because they have effected you.
Q4: Are you interested in trying to find a meaning/symbols that these dreams have to offer?
A: Yeah of course I want to know why you have these dreams and what they can possibly mean.
Q5: What are your interpretations of the dream? As in what do you think it means?
A: I feel that the dreams are telling you that you have the need to protect me. And when I die in the dreams I think you feel that you haven’t done enough for me.
I then started to explain to her what I found out in my research. I told her that the research I suggests that my dreams are associated with aggression towards her, because I always see her dying in my dreams. She was shocked when I told her that the meaning of her always dying means that I want her out of the way. But I has to explain to her that it can also mean that subconsciously I am picturing her death in a way to see how I would react to the day that she is to be absent in my life and makes me appreciate her even more when I wake up. I also mentioned that I only had dreams about her and not about our little sister, Jacky and I went on to explain it too. My research gave the explanation that I only have dreams of Maria and not Jacky, because of how frequent Maria appears in my dreams usually suggests my continued love for her. The fact that Jacky does not appear in my dreams as often, suggests that I am trying to deny the existence of her in order to keep my anxiety under control. If she does appear in a dream I might have wish that she hadn’t because it pains me.
Q6: Do these explanations make sense? Do you think they could be accurate?
A: It does explain a lot. The dream you had of me when Lord Voldemort killed me explains that you could have been mad at me before you fell asleep and you just finished watching Harry Potter. But the most recent dream you had, about me having a car accident might just mean that you miss me. It can be true to an extent. I feel that you do want me out of the way because everybody knows that I am the hilarious one in the family and you just want me out of the way because you desire to be the funny one.
Q7: What are your thoughts about the explanations about Jacky not appearing in my dreams?
A: I think that it can be in a part true because you have an annoying relationship with Jacky. You guys annoy each other until you guys are always upset with each other. It makes sense, you have told me that I am 99.99% annoying but you still love me, but I think that Jacky to you is 104% annoying to you but you still love her.
Q8: Do you think that the dreams have brought us closer or further apart in our relationship?
A: Closer, don’t you think? Sometimes I feel that I should reassure you and make my presence to you known. Like if I don’t go over a weekend and you have one of those dreams I feel that I should be there.
Q9: How do you feel about me writing about this?
A: Nothing really, if you though this was important for you to write out then I welcome it. If it was just you picking this because it was interesting to write about or because you though it might have brought you closure then yeah write all you want.
Q10: One last question, have you ever had a dream in the same content as mine? As in have you ever dreamt of my death or anybody else’s?
A: No, not really. I mean there was one where our Grandma fell off a waterfall, but the dream ended there. So I don’t think I have ever had a dream that someone died because she could have survived the fall. The dream itself scared me of death not about just Grandma dying but just about death.
Hopefully sitting down and actually talking about the dreams with my sister can help me understand and move on from these dreams.
Selina Salazar is a freshman at California State Northridge. She is working on her degree in Visual Art.